Getting the Guy You Want: Self-Esteem
Trumps Pretty
by: Terry Hernon MacDonald
Part of the reason we have difficulty attracting men who
make us happy is because we believe that such men don't really
exist. We believe that to attract a man we have to be the
prettiest girl in the room, have the biggest breasts on the
block, the tightest abs, and so on. We must stay on our toes
to makes sure somebody prettier, smarter, or whatever doesn't
sneak up and snatch our man. It never ends.
And then, as we're minding our own business on the supermarket
check-out line, we glimpse a headline on a magazinecover:
"Jessica's Hotter Than Ever! How Can Nick Leave Her Now?"
The subtext is, if a fox like Jessica Simpson can't hold on
to a man, what chance do the rest of us have?
Even if your tastes in literature run to feminist authors
like Susan Faludi and Noami Wolf over, say, periodicals like
In Touch and The Star, you're probably influenced by the negative
messages we're fed by the media. I know I was.
And the bad vibes don't only come from magazines and TV shows.
Listen, for instance, to the lyrics in your favorite songs.
So many of of my favorite female artists sing of being suicidal
over the loss of a guy. A lot of my favorite male artists
sing about hurting women, hating women, or running through
them like pints of beer.
It's one thing to enjoy popular music, but be aware of the
whacked-out ideas it can weld into your brain if you're not
paying attention: 1) You're nothing without a guy, and 2)
You're a disposable object that can be easily replaced.
The next time you leave the house know this: You are one
of a kind and irreplaceable. There is only one you. You don't
need a guy, but if you're going to have one, he must love
you for you (not your body parts, your money, or your clothes).
He must add value to your life.
Once you love yourself, really and truly love yourself (because
of who you are inside, as opposed to the fact that you just
forked over $450 to have your teeth whitened), you will attract
better men.
Good men definitely exist. But they want to be with a woman
who values and esteems herself. (Self-love trumps pretty every
time!) Once you become that woman, you will magically find
yourself enjoying a happy, angst-free relationship with a
guy who's in it for the long term.
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract
and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for her free
dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com.
Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.
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